Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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