I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
