I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
