In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
