I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
