My pussy is not your playground.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
