That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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