I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
