Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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