Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
