just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
