It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize