That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
