May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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