So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
