Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
As shirtless as possible
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
