Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
