Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
wat bout pragnant strippers??
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
