Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
