speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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