i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
They have beer where we have blood.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
