U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
