Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
