I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
