I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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