nut hugger
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Sorry about my life...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
