why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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