He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
