IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
