i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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