Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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