so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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