I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
