I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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