I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
