A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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