Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
