Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
