I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
