5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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