Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
