mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize