why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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