Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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