Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
