You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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