I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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