OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
