If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
