i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
