Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
