honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
