You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
