So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
