hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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