remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
