You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
