we have officially lost it.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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